Now, I know that my service may not have been what many of you expected. I did not recite anything from the Torah, and spoke very little Hebrew. But I believe that becoming a Bat Mitzvah should be much more than just tradition and ritual. Being a Bat Mitzvah means exploring Jewish history, understanding my culture, expressing my values and what it means to be a part of a community.
In 6th grade, I was still deciding if I even wanted to have a Bat Mitzvah. I understood it would be a huge commitment, and I wasn’t sure if it was something I was ready to devote myself to. While I have a strong moral compass and cultural identity, I have also never been very religious, so I didn’t feel particularly connected to the idea of having one. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I would regret it if I didn’t. It’s such an important milestone, and it would help bring me closer to my Jewish identity. So just before the beginning of 7th grade, I made my decision: I was going to have a Bat Mitzvah.
When I chose to pursue this, my parents decided they would send me to a Humanistic Congregation. When I asked why, my mom explained that when she and my dad were planning their wedding, they wanted a rabbi to officiate. However, they were both atheists. This was when my Aunt Lana introduced my parents to Humanistic Judaism, a form of Judaism that focuses on culture and history, without specific reference to God. At that time, Peter Schweitzer was the rabbi at the City Congregation. He officiated at my parent’s wedding, and went on to oversee both my brother’s and my baby naming ceremonies.
Starting in 7th grade, I began my preparation, traveling to the City Congregation on the Upper West side every other Sunday with my parents. As classes progressed, I started to learn more and more about the ideology of Humanistic Judaism. In class we talked about our history, the oppression Jews have faced over the years, Jewish values, and what values we hold as individuals as well.
My first project involved interviewing my family, where I asked questions about where they grew up and what values were important to them. I had never thought to ask my family questions like these before, and thanks to this process, I learned things I may never have otherwise. Just one story can tell you so much about a person.
But soon after I began my preparation, high school admissions got in the way and made it much more difficult for me to stay focused. At the beginning of 8th grade, I began seeing all my friends celebrate their Bat Mitzvahs, and realized how urgently I wanted to get back to work on mine. The day I submitted my high school applications was the day everything got a little easier. At my new rate, I could still have my Bat Mitzvah at 13. Barely.
Schedule aside, writing my Bat Mitzvah essays has been an eye-opening experience. Each essay has taught me something valuable; not only about the world around me, but about myself as well. I’ve learned about my personal beliefs. I’ve known I didn’t believe in God for a while now. I’ve just never had the right words to describe myself. But now I do — I’m a Humanistic Jew.
Throughout this journey, both Rabbi Tzemah Yoreh and Isabel Kaplan, director of the B’Mitzvah program, have helped me so much. Their support and knowledge made this process much more doable. I could not have done this at all without them. Thank you! I would also like to thank our musician, Rebecca Schwartz, for her beautiful playing today.
Ren, thank you for being so patient while our parents focused all of their energy on helping me make this day happen. I can’t wait to have more time to spend with you. And finally, thank you to my parents for putting the amount of time and effort that they did into this massive undertaking. What you both have done for me over the past many months is huge, beyond words. I love all three of you to the moon and back. You mean everything to me.
A week ago, I was looking through photos and videos of myself throughout the years. Watching myself take my first steps, dress up as a giant Lego for Halloween, celebrate eleventh, twelve, and thirteenth birthdays, I began tearing up. It was at this moment when it hit me…I’m not getting any younger. Sure, I know, I’m still young. But time is fleeting. I’ve spent so much of my life wishing I was older, wishing people would look up to me, wishing for independence. But I don’t need to be older for those things. I realize how important it is that I cherish every moment I’m living through. And my bat mitzvah is a moment to celebrate my past, be grateful for the present, and look to the future with excitement and hope.
