The following essay about family values, was written by Marlo Spielman, a middle schooler, enrolled in City Congregation’s B’Mitzvah program. Students spend a year and a half researching their heritage, values and beliefs, and write on a Jewish subject of their choice, their major project. The process improves both the student’s writing and critical thinking skills, as well as his/her self confidence and overall maturity.
The values we form and learn from our families as we grow up help shape our perspective of the world, to discern between right and wrong, and to prioritize what is important to us. These values are the strings that bond communities and families. The people in my family have bonded through their values, which has helped us become closer over the years. Some values I share with my family are generosity (n’-dee-voot-leyv), education (chee-nook), hard work (avodah kashe), community (kehilla), the arts (ah-ma-noot) and humor (hoo-mor).
My family has long emphasized generosity (n’-dee-voot-leyv in Hebrew). My great-grandparents on my mother’s side (Genevieve and Abbie Schoenberger) owned a grocery store together in a small town in Michigan. During the Great Depression, when many of their customers had neither jobs nor money, Abbie and Genevieve would discreetly pass them through the checkout line without charging them, or putting an extra package of meat into their basket. While I never knew my great-grandparents, they passed those values on to my mom, who passed them onto me.
My grandfather on my dad’s side (Marty Spielman), was drafted into the army when he was younger. He had been serving in Korea after the war, helping them rebuild their community by building stained-glass windows for one of their churches. He frequently visited and donated to a nearby orphanage as well. He would write to his mother to send him his old clothing to give to them. He even tried adopting a little girl there! (Unfortunately, he wasn’t allowed to, because he was a single man in the army.)
I also deeply value education (chee-nook). Without education, we don’t have knowledge. Without knowledge, we can’t easily discern the truth, fight against unjust lies being perpetuated in our society, or make changes in the world. Without the study of history, science and sociology, we wouldn’t know that there is a correlation between legalized abortion and crime rates, or that we only have about a decade left before climate change is unstoppable. Education gives us the tools to make the world a better place, so I devote my life to it.
My grandma Roz used to be a teacher. She taught English as a second language for immigrants of all ages. There was one Persian Jewish woman she taught who had lived in America for ten years—and never learned a word of English. She was so focused on raising her sons, she never had the time to learn. She was unable to read any signs or communicate with others. But my grandma helped her learn English in the span of only one semester. It’s incredible what my grandma did, helping others in need of assistance in living a better life.
My Uncle Henry is an amazing scientist and emeritus professor of geophysics at the University of Michigan. For the past three decades, he has studied the science of climate change and worked hard to educate others about its dangers—long before this crisis was in the headlines. He has collaborated closely with Al Gore, authored the award-winning book “A World Without Ice”, and created an exhibit about climate change that has been displayed in multiple museums. He has even shared the Nobel Peace Prize for his work on climate change. His example illustrates the power of education, and of hard work over time.
Hard work (avodah kashe) is another value that not only means a lot to me, but is what has gotten my family and me so far! I could write a novel on working hard. For the past year, my life has been nothing but work, and it’s getting me places. From my hectic schedule to my preparation for my Bat Mitzvah and my high school applications, it’s been a lot. But with that effort comes achievements and success! Hard work may come with its obstacles, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
When it comes to hard work, my Aunt Lana Pollack is a warrior. Her whole life has been dedicated to making the world a better place. She was elected to the Michigan State Senate for three terms, during which only two other women were state senators. Later, President Obama appointed her to chair the International Joint Commission that negotiates and safeguards the shared waters between Canada and the United States. She spent nine years in that role, traveling often to small towns on both sides of the border, listening to people and working hard to find solutions. She often said that these might seem like small out-of-the-way places for most people, but they are home to those who live there.
This brings me to the value of community (kehilla). My grandma Roz was part of the Sisterhood at the local synagogue. The Sisterhood was a group of women who would contribute to the community by working for the synagogue and helping others. My grandma was the editor of the synagogue’s newsletter, and would sometimes drive senior citizens to a weekly lunch and game day at the synagogue. My grandma would also help out at the yearly rummage sales, which would be held by the Sisterhood to raise money for education. She even became vice president of Cooperation and Community Service, which sponsored a day for seniors to be entertained while being served a meal. These are only a few examples of what she contributed as a part of the Sisterhood, but all of them show a great sense of love for her community.
My Uncle Maurice, a former district judge and highly respected family lawyer and mediator, poured himself into his community. He taught many people to read, some of them in rehabilitation houses. He regularly performed pro bono work for those in need, helping others through a tough time by donating his services. He also supported and visited several terminally ill local lawyers, to comfort them through their struggles. As a judge and mediator, he helped solve his community’s important issues. Sadly, Maurice passed away on May 12th of last year. He was a wonderful man, dearly loved by his family and community.
The arts (ah-ma-noot) is one of the biggest themes in my family’s values. I’ve always loved fine art and music, and I created an art portfolio and a cello audition for my high school applications. My grandpa Marty is a painter, my mother is an actor, singer and former dancer, and members on both sides of my family are artists and musicians.
My grandpa Marty has been an artist since a very young age, like me. He was actually able to graduate high school early—to go to Cooper Union. There, he continued to pursue his dreams as an artist. He went on to get a job as an art director at Grey Advertising. And since the mid-eighties, he began his own graphic design company called Spielman Graphics! Even now, he is constantly painting portraits and landscapes. He recently even had his work exhibited at a museum. He is extremely talented, and I hope to be able, someday, to dedicate my life to art like he does.
Marlene Schoenberger, my grandmother, was invested in the arts. Though she lived in a small town far from any cultural institutions, she would travel to New York City to see it all. She loved all forms of art, but especially dance. Marlene ran a dance studio for over 20 years in the small town of Ludington, Michigan and would bring the exciting art culture of New York back to her dance class. There, she was the artistic heart of the town. She would hold such beautiful performances. She knew the importance of art, and with that knowledge, shared it with others.
My family and I are all appreciators of humor (“hoo-mor” in Hebrew, if you can believe that). Humor is not just appreciated because it’s nice to laugh once in a while, but also because it can help people deal with difficult situations. I don’t know what I’d do without it.
My mother played the straight man in theater for a long time. For a while she sang in a comedy cabaret show called “Just Friends,” which was a two-person show that my mom and her partner created. They performed for years in comedy clubs all over downtown Manhattan. I love that my mom played in comedies.
My dad has always been hilariously witty. All of his jokes make me (and everyone else in the room) laugh out loud. There is never a dull moment when my dad is around! I really appreciate his great sense of humor, and I hope I’m able to make people laugh like he does in the future!
Our values help guide us through life as individuals, but also help connect us to others. We share what we’ve learned from our families, and build relationships with those who share our most important values.
